Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Opportunity Cost

By Dan Moser

Let me start by saying I hope my hiatus did not alienate my fan (that's not a typo). On to the message:

If you have taken any Econ classes or anything of that nature there are two things you should know: There is a lot of money to be made in Widgets and possibly a Widget factory and there is a hidden cost in everything you do called opportunity cost. Basically in terms I can understand, the opportunity cost is what you could be doing/spending money on instead of what are you doing/spending money on. If I got that wrong it is probably this Doctor's fault, we took Econ together.

For my triumphant return to the blogosphere I submit to you the opportunity cost of watching an Oilers' game on television. I feel like I need to add a disclaimer before I start. During my break the Oilers have been awful, and watching the games has been just as awful. The Oilers won last night, and in Ottawa no less, a place where they have not won since this picture was relevant in Senator fan's (are they real?) lives:
 
Anyway just because the Oilers won doesn't mean it was a great game and the first two periods really made me think there are a lot of programs I would much rather be watching. Also, I now have more respect for that blog dude Tyler Dellow and his site http://www.mc79hockey.com, not for the Colie Mail stuff (personal opinion alert but I think it was a little overblown). This site actually goes to the trouble of counting the Oilers' scoring chances during games. WOW. I counted one in the first two periods, but to be fair Oiler powerplays tend to put me to sleep. 

So, what I have done is given you a guide of what I television I could have been enjoying instead of the Oilers Senators game. It took slightly less intelligence than what Dellow does but hey, we can't all be brilliant law learned people. Enjoy! 

I didn’t include sports or movies because obviously no one can say no to the last half of Twilight and Rear Window or Monday Night Football and a group of degenerate gamblers playing cards. I included two programs per viewing block because let's be honest in today's world of twittering, facespace, and the tubing of you, one TV show is simply not enough.

Seriously if it wasn't for people watching poker on TV for some reason I am 100% certain this guy would be down three fingers and in debt to Russian gangsters....sounds like a KHL player when I say it aloud.

5:30-6:00 – Shaw 107 BITE – Arrested Development. “Good Grief”, (2004), Hors d’oeuvres accompany news of George Sr., which is kept from Buster while Gob plans an illusion to honor their father. (Comedy). 
Despite not being on the air for a number of years Arrested Development has to be one of the best shows no longer on TV. FOX cancelled it, claiming that none of the characters or situations were relatable. What the f*ck does that say about Jersey Shore? That thought brings me to an unrelated point: there is only one rule on my blog, never fall in love at the Jersey Shore.

5:30-6:00 – Shaw 13 KXLY – Seinfeld. “Pilot Episode”, (1989), A woman whom Jerry met on the road is coming to town---and wants to stay with him. Laura: Pamela Brull. (Comedy).
Not the best episode of Seinfeld but when was the last time the Oilers showed up for a first period anyway. I know some people that don't like Seinfeld, they watch Two and A Half Men. Nuff said.
 
6:00-6:30 – Shaw 16 KAYU – The Simpsons. Matt Groening’s subversive, animated satire about Springfield’s hapless first family. (Animated Comedy).
The info on my cable box didn't mention which episode was being aired. Pick the worst episode of The Simpsons you can think of, I'll watch it three times then pawn the episode's jokes off as my own and tap my chest with two fingers while saying: "Pure Moser."

6:00-7:00 – Shaw 29 FOOD – Iron Chef America. “Morimoto vs. Symon”, (2005), Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto takes on challenger Michael Symon. (Food).
The description tells you nothing about the episode, I would bet that sarcastic fat guy that loves food is one of the judges. The guy wrote a book called The Man who Ate Everything. Even if the food is no good I guarantee he licks his plate clean. Claim you don't watch this? Liar.

BONUS! 6:00-7:00 – Shaw 25 A&E – Intervention. “Sandy”, (2009), Alcoholism and prescription-drug addiction are the topics. (Documentary).
Classic. Everyone secretly or publicly enjoys watching other people struggle to deal with their own problems. I lack traditional employment and own as many pairs of pajama pants as I do regular pants, but hey, at least I'm not addicted to crack.

6:30-7:00 – Shaw 16 KAYU – The Office. “Two Weeks”, (2009), Michaels’s relationship with the new vice president (Idris Elba) becomes more and more strained, but that doesn’t stop Michael from shirking work and responsibility even more than usual. Meanwhile, Pam falls victim to the new copier. (Comedy).
I'll watch any episode of The Office but this is a really good one. Nothing beats having to watch Rob Faulds in between periods like the creation of the Michael Scott Paper Company. 

7:00-7:30 – Shaw 16 KAYU – How I Met Your Mother. “The Bracket”, (2008), Barney tries to find the mystery woman who’s out to ruin his reputation, and he uses the basketball tournament-bracket template to eliminate 64 suspects, all of whom have reasons to hate him. (Comedy).
To be honest I don't really watch this show, but I have been told to. The title of the episode and premise sound promising and also that Neil Patrick Harris has excellent comedic timing.

Tough call for a second show for 7:00-7:30. Really though, what is worse? According to Jim (that’s right, Jim Belushi is still working), the insanely unfunny Two and A Half Men (jeez two shot at Two and A Half Men in on blog? Sorry Chuck, I owe you a drink), or a Hemsky-less Oilers' game that is being billed as a return to Ottawa for third string goaltender Martin Gerber and a return to Ottawa for Jordan Eberle who once played in a hockey tournament in Ottawa, which really begs the question of how the media will react to my return to Beaumont, AB, a place where I once played a hockey tournament. 
Red font for the sake of red font.

7:30-8:00 – Shaw 11 CJEO – The Simpsons. “Make Room for Lisa”, The Simpsons are forced to house a cellular transmitter, giving Lisa stress, while Marge hears calls through Maggie’s baby monitor. (Animated Comedy).
A weak episode but still good for a few laughs. Homer gets his head crushed by a bridge, Lisa takes a bus to the Russian district of Springfield, Marge hits Milpool with a baby monitor, some other topical stuff happens. 

7:30-8:00 – Shaw 4 CBXT – Jeopardy! The classic thinking person’s answer-and-question quiz, developed by Merv Griffin. (Game Show).
Important note: even during the on the couch edition, if you don't phrase your answers in the form of a question, you don't get the points.

If I hadn't watched The Walking Dead at 4 A.M. Monday morning I probably would have watched that twice. Keep in mind, this is really just what I would watch, some people like Chuck for some reason.
The Oilers win a game?







Tuesday, November 23, 2010

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy


Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and (when not hungover) Saturday are my training days. Those are the days I take my Superpump, crush weights, run on the treadmill, then come home and absolutely shit my guts out. Let me make something perfectly clear: I love these days. That's why, when I woke up today and tried to start my car, I vowed to graduate with my bullshit history degree and get out of Edmonton as quickly as I could.

Because I had so much free time on my hand, I slayed some Spanish homework (a mi no me gusta los pantalones) and did some cruising around the internet. I was checkin' out Facebook when I saw something from the Calgary Flames Official blah blah Facebook Playstation Racing Game whatever:
I figured what the hell, I wasn't going to be doing anything between 10-12pm now that I couldn't get my pump on, might as well check that shit out. What was even better was I remembered I've got NHL Network on cable at my place, so I'd get to watch it live instead of having to stream it.

I probably got caught up googling Eminem guitar tabs or something stupid like that but I ended up missing the first hour and only started watching around 11:00am. The two dudes running the program were just talking about some shitgarbage and they kept saying that Rene Bourque and Mark Giordano were going to be running late.

Wait a minute, what?

What happened to Iginla? I was hoping to hear from the dude who just scored six goals in three games. And man, they were running an hour late already? Oh well, I figured. They would probably get some good air time anyways. Meanwhile, the boys running NHL Live were scrambling to save their broadcasting lives. Obviously they weren't planning on having to bullshit for over an hour while waiting for their guests. They opened up the phone lines where I was witness to one of the dumbest suggestions of all time.
 You love the Hawks eh? Who was their goalie in 03-04 again? Oh you don't remember?

A guy who was only identified as Rich from Chicago phoned in with his suggestion as to bring out the skills in the game. I couldn't make this up, his suggestion was as follows: if, for example, the right winger enters the offensive zone, and holds onto the puck behind the net long enough to come out the other (left) wing, the play gets blown dead and he is given a two-minute delay of game penalty.
Rich from Chicago is a dick and doesn't understand that having that as a rule doesn't encourage more skilled players to play the game. In fact Rich, it does the opposite. Did you drink a gallon of bleach before you phoned in today? Why don't we eliminate defensemen joining the rush while we're at it?

My only guess is that Rich from Chicago is over 85 years old and wants to see a return to old time hockey. Like, before you could pass the puck forward, and before goalies were allowed to fall on the ice. This is one of the stupidest suggestions I've ever heard for how to give skill-players the chance to excel. Does he even watch Blackhawks games? How many times does Patrick Kane do this a game...

By the time I finished taking mental notes so I could write about it on this site, it was around 11:30 and Chris Pronger was on the phone. He had a great line too, when the guys asked him about how he felt being 3rd in all-star defense voting behind Lidstrom and Keith. Something to the extent of, "I'd ask people go to out and vote for me but I've got a feeling a lot of cities don't like me".

So it's 11:40 and I've heard from Rich from Chicago and big bad Chris Pronger. Where the hell are Giordano and Bourque? They're only gonna have twenty minutes to be interviewed. They take a commercial break and finally, at 11:45, Rene and Gio hit the screen. They stick around and answer literally three questions: what its like being in NYC, what it was like to go 7-0 in the preseason (remember that?), and whether or not Bourque had fun at University. Then they left.

Thanks Calgary Flames, even when you're not on the ice you manage to underwhelm me time and time again.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Turco Sucks


It became pretty clear to me pretty quickly last night that Marty Turco is not a good goalie. I can say that most of the goals he let in were soft (save a sick Iggy tip) and that if he had any clue how to fall to the ice in a butterfly stance, almost all of those shots could have been soft. On that note, I'm happy to credit the Flames for truly playing until the final buzzer. They kept putting shots on Turco, and when you do that with a lazy goalie, you can score seven goals a game.

I'm still not sold on Nik Hagman. Yes he scored a (weak) goal last night and was originally credited with Iggy's second, but the last few games the guy has quite frankly looked like a steaming pile of dogshit. As for the new guys, Kosto and BABchuk, the only reason I noticed them was because they were on the ice and I wasn't used to seeing 16 and 33 without Friesen and Aucoin on the backs of the jerseys (who, by the way, would make some nice veteran signings Darryl). Of note: the Flames are now 1-0-0 without Olli Jokinen in the lineup. Just sayin'.

Best text from last night goes to Donsky (he in red, myself in green):

Holy [expletive] Turco is lazy

Haha I'm at the other end of the rink I can't see him much

Saw Gio layout Hossa just fine





I find myself feeling split right now. Although I never want to wish bad tidings on the Flames, I think I wanted them to lose the game last night just to see what the reaction would be in terms of the front office management. But I suppose we're just another January away from drowning in the obscurity of the bottom of the NHL... and this becomes relevant again:

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The 4th annual Calgary Flames freefall


With last night's 4-3 loss to the San Jose Sharks, my confidence in this year's Calgary Flames hockey club is whittled down, not unlike the puck that Logan Couture rubs on his stick before every game he plays.


The Flames have played sixteen games this season, not even a quarter-way through the year, but if there is any reason to think differently that this team is so fundamentally flawed and will not compete for a spot in the top-eight teams in the conference, please inform me.

Calgary is now 1-6 in their last seven games. Five of the six losses were games that Calgary held the lead in. Here are some things to think about: The Flames, supposedly Stanley Cup contenders a year ago, slipped down the stretch (read: January) last year and removed themselves from a playoff spot. The supposed problem? A new head coach, time to buy into the system, etc. Now the Flames are 7-9 on the season and currently look like they have no idea how to win a hockey game.

If you watched last night's contest, San Jose looked like they did everything they could to lose that game. Dany Heatley had four shots on net --those don't count the two he absolutely rifled over Kipper-- and he finished without a point on the night. The Sharks were taking penalties left right and center. They started Antti Niemi in net for Christ's sake, who got his second win of the season and brought down his GAA.

This is not a team, but rather a conglomeration of players. For whatever reason, they can't seem to get it together. So fifteen games into the season, I present to you, where I would like to see some of these players go.

Jarome Iginla

I am personally against Iginla being traded. I think that after all he has done for the franchise and the City of Calgary, he needs to retire as a Flame. Not sold? Take a look at Mike Modano right now. If you were a Stars fan would you be able to take him seriously?

If Iggy goes anywhere, its got to be Pittsburgh. If the debate in Calgary is "get a center for Iggy", the call in Pittsburgh has been "get a winger for Sid". Would this move realistically happen? Iginla would be a fool to not waive his NMC, and the question would be what the Flames want in return. I assume Darryl Sutter hates first-round draft picks so that's out of the question, and I also happen to have a sneaking suspicion he loves defencemen. The trade goes down as follows: Jarome Iginla and a 3rd round pick to PIT for Brooks Orpik and Max Talbot.

Why the trade makes sense:
Because it doesn't make any sense.

Robyn Regehr
This is your childhood dying on  your computer screen

I've said before I think Regehr is one of the most over-rated defencemen in the league. Here is a guy who makes $4million and is not expected to chip in offensively at all. The last three years he has scored five, zero, and two goals, while earning point totals of 20, 8, and 17. For four million dollars a season. The argument is that he is supposed to be one of the better defensive defenceman in the league. EVEN IF he is the PREMIER defensive shutdown guy in the league (which he is not), four million bucks a year?

Regehr goes to Ottawa if anywhere. Ottawa is a team that recently called up David Hale on defense. When your team is screaming for help on defense, they call up David Hale. Regehr goes to Ottawa in exchange for Nick Foligno and Chris Kelly, thus adding more depth forwards and still not addressing any of Calgary's real needs.

Why the trade makes sense:
In this case the cap numbers actually work out, Ottawa gets a defensively reliable player to play with Gonchar, and Calgary spins its tires once again.

Miikka Kiprusoff

This is the man who is acting as Mighty Putty for this Calgary Flames team. This basically means he is patching up every hole in this team to date. Far and away the team MVP, the Flames actually owe it to Kiprusoff to trade him away to a contender so he can win the Stanley Cup he deserves.

What team on the edge of greatness needs a goalie? Couple of choices. The obvious pick is Washington. Sure people are raving about rookie Michael Neuvirth's play so far in net. But are you really going to sit there and tell me that he is going to win the close games for Washington in the playoffs? Kiprusoff to Washington for Brooks Laich, Tomas Fleischmann, and a 3rd round pick.

Why the trade makes sense:
Washington gets a goalie, Calgary gets depth depth depth! On the condition they re-acquire that pesky draft pick they were able to ship off in the Pittsburgh trade.

The other not-so-obvious choice I'd say is Detroit. I've never been sold on Jimmy Howard, and with Kipper in net wearing the winged wheel, this is a team that would benefit greatly from his services. Kiprusoff is shipped off to the Motor City in exchange for Daniel Cleary and Justin Abdelkader.

Why the trade makes sense:
Jimmy Howard might be a fine goalie but there's no way to say he is better than Kiprusoff, and Kipper will most definitely make it past the last day of the regular season first-round of the playoffs. Flames get a couple younger players who might actually look like they give a rat's ass.


All in all I know its only fifteen games in but quite frankly I'm just getting bored of watching the Flames play, and these changes would really alter the team and perhaps send them in a direction that is up from 14th in the conference.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Flames PR falls flat



Are the Flames talking about a game against kids in wheelchairs or about the season as a whole?

Most striking things about this video:
1.


Who wears #32 on Calgary?
Ryan Stone.
If Ryan Stone tried to play ball hockey with me, I'd probably tell him to fuck off.

2.

Why are some of the players wearing jerseys with 30th year anniversary patches?

3.

Where is the 2009 banner, and why is the 2010 banner shown before the game has been started in the video? This is a simple matter of continuity editing.

4.

Jokinen unable to clear the puck for a goal against the Flames, not an unusual sight.

5.
"We either need some goals from him or we need him to go back and stop some goals, but he's just kind of floating out there"- Brendan Morrison on Iginla's struggles this season from the game.

Who cares that Brett Sutter got arrested, this should in no way affect the on-ice product. Maybe it will force Darryl's hand into retirement so he can focus on his family etc, paving the way for a new GM and possibly a first-round draft pick.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

How to not get a job pt. 2


New Flames goal song

For those who made it through the preliminary bullshit of my last post and got to the cover letter I actually bothered to submit to IGN, you will enjoy this.
Actually, I might as well take some time to clear some things up:

1. This is primarily a hockey blog that focuses on the Flames and Oilers. The Real Dan Moser and I are really fans of the game though, so its not unusual to see us writing about something else hockey-related.

2. Sometimes this is where I post other things I feel like writing about.

3. I've not written in quite some time but I haven't been sitting around doing nothing. I'm working on a 25 page paper for a 400-level History of Sport in Canada class. It is fucking awesome. We got to pick our own topics, I'm writing about why there are so few black hockey players.
3a. I'm done 14 pages, which is four-thousand words. This means I only need another...four-thousand words.
3b. I'm out of shit to talk about so gimmie any ideas if you got 'em. If this paper makes me famous I won't forget who you are.
3c. I also need a catchy title (Black Ice is not good enough).

Now that we've got that out of the way, I'd like to continue with my mini-series entitled Lessons in Stupidity. Volume 1 was pretty much me making fun of myself in a cover letter I sent to IGN that should be immediately below this post. Allow me to set you up for part two of this documentary. My roommate Chris told me he had heard about a marketing internship that was opening up with the Oilers

This is why I chose to clear some things up at the beginning of this post: how could a Flames fan even contemplate working for the Oilers? Well its because quite frankly I love hockey regardless of who is playing it, and come on like I'm gonna get a job offer from an NHL team and turn them down...Although that wouldn't make me the first Calgarian to refuse to work for the Oilers.

Honestly, I look back at this cover letter I sent to the Oilers and just laugh about some of the shit I actually wrote in it. As always I'll provide my commentary where I see fit, and after this maybe I'll actually write something about the Flames:

Good day,
My name is Richard Shilling and I am applying for the marketing internship with the Edmonton Oilers. I am a fourth year student at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, and I will be graduating in December of 2011. I am originally from Calgary and decided to come to Edmonton to see what the City of Champions was all about. I arrived in 2007 and have yet to see a championship come through the city, although I am optimistic about the city’s chances for the future. Being from Calgary, I am a Flames fan, but that should not hinder my chances of working for the Oilers organization. Just look at Taylor Hall. If one good thing can come out of Calgary, can’t two?

My God, did I just chirp the city of Edmonton in my opening paragraph? I can only assume they threw this whole application away after that. I think the Taylor Hall line is great.

I have some experience with amateur writing; I started a hockey blog in December of 2009 that mostly focused on the Flames. Unlike many blogs, mine does not contain much statistical analysis, it is writing with a more satirical focus. Being self-deprecating while cheering for the Flames generally goes hand-in-hand. The blog that ran from December 2009 to September 2010 is http://thelightersideoffire.blogspot.com. Currently I am working on a different blogging website, this one that focuses on the Flames and Oilers. I co-run the website with a young man named Daniel Moser who interned with Off The Record at TSN this summer. That (active) blog is http://pstfreehockey.blogspot.com. Also, I recently realized the importance of social networking, and thus have joined Twitter. I can be found at http://twitter.com/#!/rshillin

"Being self-deprecating while cheering for the Flames generally goes hand-in-hand". This is the best sentence I have ever written. Also, follow me on Twitter.

I have experience working with children of varying abilities as I worked at a summer camp, Camp BB Riback, from 2006 to 2010. Going through the ranks of Junior Counselor all the way up to Assistant Director, I have had the opportunity to work with many different people who come from different backgrounds. 

Where to start...
a. The term "Assistant Director" is not true. I was the "Operations Manager". Which would you write?
b. Working with different people who come from different backgrounds? More like going into Red Deer to buy shit that slipped through the cracks and cleaning toilets.
c. Darryl Katz's kids went to Camp BB Riback in 2009. They did not re-register for 2010. Oops.

Applying for a marketing internship is something I’ve always been interested in, and I happened to hear about this from my roommate. If hired, I am willing commit full time from January until the end of the season or longer, even if it means putting my education on hold. I already will be staying in Edmonton for the first semester of 2011, and pushing it back to 2012 would not devastate me, especially if it meant having an opportunity like this.
I thank you for your consideration and I hope to hear back soon.
-Richard Shilling

I almost feel like I should start applying to all sorts of jobs with cover letters like these and then post them on a website like Don't Even Reply.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

How to not get a job

I'm a cool guy, and to keep my place in the hierarchy of society as a cool guy, I always need to be doing cool things. In this particular instance, I'm talking about when I bought a Wii, because there was a point in time when having a Wii was pretty cool. As it turns out, Wii is actually one of the biggest scams of all time. The graphics suck, the motion controls don't really work, you can't watch DVDs on it, really you can't do much except play the games that are on Wii. Here is the second part of that problem. The games on Wii are horrendous. Sure, the staples are fine. Any Mario/Zelda game is going to be fine. But what a slippery slope the system takes down from there.

In order to validate my purchase, I decided that instead of admitting defeat and trading the system away while it still had some value, I would need to dig deep and find some quality games. Upon Bruce's recommendation I checked out IGN and started looking through the trenches to find some games that didn't totally suck ass. I ended up finding a couple good ones I never would have heard about, so pretty much every day I check IGN just to see if anything groundbreaking is up.

Well, on October 12th, there certainly was something of note. This was the news story on their front page. It was a call that they were hiring editors. If you read the article they posted, it seems like they don't take themselves too seriously. Which makes sense if you've ever seen Grandma's Boy.


Here is my cover letter for that job. I will include analysis after any points which I see fit:



To whom it may concern,
Let me begin by writing that I am not comfortable beginning with such a formal statement when applying for a job at a videogame company. As it would seem on your “call to arms” online, this is one job that requires a certain type of laid-back personality. Maybe not as lax as the guys from Grandma’s Boy, but I think you catch my drift.
Ok, so film studies taught me to underline the titles of movies. Good work.

Here are the facts: my name is Richard Shilling. I am Canadian. Along with that goes every stereotype you could possibly come up with. I love hockey and beer, and I am always cold. I go to the University of Alberta in Edmonton. Every day I wake up and wonder who decided that this would be a good place to start a city, it has seriously got to be the coldest place you could ever imagine. It got down to -50 degrees Celcius (that’s -58F for you Yanks) last year and I wasn’t sure if I was going to survive the day.
I had to use a unit converter online to get Celsius to Fahrenheit. This paragraph has absolutely no business being in a cover letter.

When I was a little boy, every three years I would ask for the same birthday present: a re-subscription to Nintendo Power magazine. This was before the days of IGN, when I was forced to play Pokemon without a walkthrough (which led to me using my Master Ball on Zapdos). I fantasized about having a career in the videogame industry, and when I saw this ad online, I was overcome with a rush of nostalgia. All my life I’ve loved videogames, and now this is a chance to realize my sickest fantasies.
Think they stopped reading after this point?

I believe that my first time playing through the Shadow Temple was scarier than the first time I watched SAW. I believe that every business course should have a week where students must negotiate certain Pokemon trades. I believe that plumbing is an honest day’s work, because if you can work with poo all day, surely there is nothing that can bring you down. I have signed up for online dating websites, with one of my sticking points being how I can play Guitar Hero guitar and drums on expert. Between my roommates and myself, we have three PS3s, three Xbox 360s, and two Wiis. Videogames have had an enormous presence throughout my life.
Unfortunately for me, everything in this paragraph is true.

If you can believe it, I do enjoy activities other than gaming. I love hockey, to the point where I decided on a whim last year that I was going to start a blog about my beloved Calgary Flames. That material is available at http://thelightersideoffire.blogspot.com. Be warned: there is some harsh language. I prefer to think of it as “colorful”. As well, I have recently teamed up with another blogger who worked for TSN as an intern this summer; that material is available at http://pstfreehockey.blogspot.com. I think that even without a strong hockey background the material is accessible; I mostly aim for writing that comes off as dry and extremely sarcastic. You’ll find links to some of my personal favorite entries in the e-mail I sent.
Major league name drop: "I write with a guy who got coffee for the guys at TSN this summer". Sold.

I hope this cover letter finds you well and I certainly hope it stands out, as I am sure you are going to be flooded with all sorts of attempts to beg and plead for jobs. So to conclude, when continuing the hiring process, just remember that Bioware is located in Edmonton. If the city can produce one good thing, certainly it can produce another. Also, I want to move to the Bay Area upon graduation, but honestly I’d rather get there ASAP, something I could justify doing if I actually landed this job (I’m in my fourth year of studies right now).
-Richard Shilling
I would LOVE to leave Edmonton and move to San Francisco.

This is really more of a cry for help than anything, can somebody please teach me how to write a proper cover letter?