Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Opportunity Cost

By Dan Moser

Let me start by saying I hope my hiatus did not alienate my fan (that's not a typo). On to the message:

If you have taken any Econ classes or anything of that nature there are two things you should know: There is a lot of money to be made in Widgets and possibly a Widget factory and there is a hidden cost in everything you do called opportunity cost. Basically in terms I can understand, the opportunity cost is what you could be doing/spending money on instead of what are you doing/spending money on. If I got that wrong it is probably this Doctor's fault, we took Econ together.

For my triumphant return to the blogosphere I submit to you the opportunity cost of watching an Oilers' game on television. I feel like I need to add a disclaimer before I start. During my break the Oilers have been awful, and watching the games has been just as awful. The Oilers won last night, and in Ottawa no less, a place where they have not won since this picture was relevant in Senator fan's (are they real?) lives:
Anyway just because the Oilers won doesn't mean it was a great game and the first two periods really made me think there are a lot of programs I would much rather be watching. Also, I now have more respect for that blog dude Tyler Dellow and his site http://www.mc79hockey.com, not for the Colie Mail stuff (personal opinion alert but I think it was a little overblown). This site actually goes to the trouble of counting the Oilers' scoring chances during games. WOW. I counted one in the first two periods, but to be fair Oiler powerplays tend to put me to sleep. 

So, what I have done is given you a guide of what I television I could have been enjoying instead of the Oilers Senators game. It took slightly less intelligence than what Dellow does but hey, we can't all be brilliant law learned people. Enjoy! 

I didn’t include sports or movies because obviously no one can say no to the last half of Twilight and Rear Window or Monday Night Football and a group of degenerate gamblers playing cards. I included two programs per viewing block because let's be honest in today's world of twittering, facespace, and the tubing of you, one TV show is simply not enough.

Seriously if it wasn't for people watching poker on TV for some reason I am 100% certain this guy would be down three fingers and in debt to Russian gangsters....sounds like a KHL player when I say it aloud.

5:30-6:00 – Shaw 107 BITE – Arrested Development. “Good Grief”, (2004), Hors d’oeuvres accompany news of George Sr., which is kept from Buster while Gob plans an illusion to honor their father. (Comedy). 
Despite not being on the air for a number of years Arrested Development has to be one of the best shows no longer on TV. FOX cancelled it, claiming that none of the characters or situations were relatable. What the f*ck does that say about Jersey Shore? That thought brings me to an unrelated point: there is only one rule on my blog, never fall in love at the Jersey Shore.

5:30-6:00 – Shaw 13 KXLY – Seinfeld. “Pilot Episode”, (1989), A woman whom Jerry met on the road is coming to town---and wants to stay with him. Laura: Pamela Brull. (Comedy).
Not the best episode of Seinfeld but when was the last time the Oilers showed up for a first period anyway. I know some people that don't like Seinfeld, they watch Two and A Half Men. Nuff said.
6:00-6:30 – Shaw 16 KAYU – The Simpsons. Matt Groening’s subversive, animated satire about Springfield’s hapless first family. (Animated Comedy).
The info on my cable box didn't mention which episode was being aired. Pick the worst episode of The Simpsons you can think of, I'll watch it three times then pawn the episode's jokes off as my own and tap my chest with two fingers while saying: "Pure Moser."

6:00-7:00 – Shaw 29 FOOD – Iron Chef America. “Morimoto vs. Symon”, (2005), Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto takes on challenger Michael Symon. (Food).
The description tells you nothing about the episode, I would bet that sarcastic fat guy that loves food is one of the judges. The guy wrote a book called The Man who Ate Everything. Even if the food is no good I guarantee he licks his plate clean. Claim you don't watch this? Liar.

BONUS! 6:00-7:00 – Shaw 25 A&E – Intervention. “Sandy”, (2009), Alcoholism and prescription-drug addiction are the topics. (Documentary).
Classic. Everyone secretly or publicly enjoys watching other people struggle to deal with their own problems. I lack traditional employment and own as many pairs of pajama pants as I do regular pants, but hey, at least I'm not addicted to crack.

6:30-7:00 – Shaw 16 KAYU – The Office. “Two Weeks”, (2009), Michaels’s relationship with the new vice president (Idris Elba) becomes more and more strained, but that doesn’t stop Michael from shirking work and responsibility even more than usual. Meanwhile, Pam falls victim to the new copier. (Comedy).
I'll watch any episode of The Office but this is a really good one. Nothing beats having to watch Rob Faulds in between periods like the creation of the Michael Scott Paper Company. 

7:00-7:30 – Shaw 16 KAYU – How I Met Your Mother. “The Bracket”, (2008), Barney tries to find the mystery woman who’s out to ruin his reputation, and he uses the basketball tournament-bracket template to eliminate 64 suspects, all of whom have reasons to hate him. (Comedy).
To be honest I don't really watch this show, but I have been told to. The title of the episode and premise sound promising and also that Neil Patrick Harris has excellent comedic timing.

Tough call for a second show for 7:00-7:30. Really though, what is worse? According to Jim (that’s right, Jim Belushi is still working), the insanely unfunny Two and A Half Men (jeez two shot at Two and A Half Men in on blog? Sorry Chuck, I owe you a drink), or a Hemsky-less Oilers' game that is being billed as a return to Ottawa for third string goaltender Martin Gerber and a return to Ottawa for Jordan Eberle who once played in a hockey tournament in Ottawa, which really begs the question of how the media will react to my return to Beaumont, AB, a place where I once played a hockey tournament. 
Red font for the sake of red font.

7:30-8:00 – Shaw 11 CJEO – The Simpsons. “Make Room for Lisa”, The Simpsons are forced to house a cellular transmitter, giving Lisa stress, while Marge hears calls through Maggie’s baby monitor. (Animated Comedy).
A weak episode but still good for a few laughs. Homer gets his head crushed by a bridge, Lisa takes a bus to the Russian district of Springfield, Marge hits Milpool with a baby monitor, some other topical stuff happens. 

7:30-8:00 – Shaw 4 CBXT – Jeopardy! The classic thinking person’s answer-and-question quiz, developed by Merv Griffin. (Game Show).
Important note: even during the on the couch edition, if you don't phrase your answers in the form of a question, you don't get the points.

If I hadn't watched The Walking Dead at 4 A.M. Monday morning I probably would have watched that twice. Keep in mind, this is really just what I would watch, some people like Chuck for some reason.
The Oilers win a game?

1 comment:

  1. I'm surprised by the number of shows I watched that you listed.

    Every episode of intervention you watch increases your chance of seeing this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_rE0RzrFY8