Thursday, October 28, 2010

Karlsson the natural

Came across a great read this morning when looking for info on who might start in net tonight for the Flames/Avs game. Basically, Henrik Karlsson never had a goalie coach until he turned 21, which means he never learned pretty basic things like proper recovery from the butterfly position etc until an extremely late age. Like, Carey Price is 23. Imagine if he never had anyone teaching him how to talk to the media until then (oops).

I am a fan of old videogames. For me, the last real NHL game made was EA Sports NHL 2004, with everyone's favorite all-star on the cover, Dany Heatley. That game was the first time you could build your own dynasty, and the first time NHL took a step in the direction it goes today, as you could somewhat dangle with the right stick and they got rid of the stupid gamebreaker option:

From Wikipedia:
NHL 2003 introduced a new feature, the GameBreaker. It is activated once a player performs enough "dekes" and it is used to help change the momentum of the game, such as scoring a big goal, delivering a big hit or winning a big fight.

The best part of NHL 2004, besides trading for Kovalchuk and him actually making your team a dynasty for twenty years, was anytime you traded for a goalie. They all had exactly the same mask, which was just a huge logo of the team right on the top/center of the mask. Nothing fancy or specific, just a big logo right on the front.

Boom. This is Karlsson's goalie mask. Whether he intended it to be or not, this is exactly what the goalie masks looked like from NHL 2004. I love it.

For those who are superstitious, it looks like Kiprusoff has a new mask this season as well, moving away from the white skulls he's been rockin' for the last couple years to something that looks almost identical to what he wore during the 2003-2004 season:

Blogger is a pretty fun guy and won't let me upload a zoomed in version to back up my point but you can see pretty clearly he's back to the old golden letters along the bottom as well as the fiery orange skulls along the sides.
Not a photoshop: the Flames did once make it past the first round of the playoffs

I think Karlsson will get the start tonight against Colorado, purely because I am betting Kipper is still hungover from his birthday bash.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Oilers Flames Game From My Perspective

By Dan Moser

I'd like to start by saying first of all I don't normally do this. I'm no fan of post game blog postings. The primary reason is that I don't enjoy reading them on other sites. I tend to disagree with what bloggers see in the games and to be honest, so much of watching hockey games on television is subjective, the game can be different for everyone. Some might say that a goal was huge, other a save, others a giveaway, others a blown offside call. Honestly, if I miss a game, I'd much rather call a friend up and ask what I missed than check out some anonymous guy's blog. Also it's been a while since I wrote anything. My third and final point is that this is not really a post game review, this is a story about my experience viewing the game.
Unrelated, but I needed a picture here and I like this one.
 BACKGROUND INFORMATION: I am currently living in Toronto. Don't hate me. The house I am currently living in does not have a sports package that allows for easy viewing of all NHL games. The Internet connection in said house can be sketchy. The feed I was watching the game on was also sketchy. I purchased a Proline ticket for the night's games but did not bet on the Oilers game, that's bad luck. I work part-time as an overnight valet in a classy downtown Toronto condo, Drake has a place there, NBD, from 11:00-7:00 EST.

ONWARDS TO THE STORY: My night began at 6:00 PM EST. I awoke from my pregame nap (that's a nice way of saying I was sleeping during the day) and decided it might be fun to put some money on the games tonight. I'm usually pretty terrible, I don't think I've won since I had a friend buy me my first ticket when I was in grade 10 from the the Westmount Shopping Centre across the street from my High School. Anyway I quickly ate a light pregame dinner, got some gas, bought my ticket all before games started at 7:00 (impressed?).

Now, I watch hockey games like a lot of people watch football. I have a game or two on TV and then open the rest of them streaming on my laptop along with stattracker for my pools. This is not a recommended way of watching hockey, especially concerning whistles, I am always confused as to which game the whistle took place in, why players are stopping, and why some seem to be playing through the whistle.

I won't bore you with the details of the early games, (I made the mistake of betting on the Coyotes to win by at least 2 goals. Idiot.) let's get to the important action.

Fast forward to 9:00. I am already feeling a little dejected because of the epic fail that was the Ottawa Senators actually putting the puck in the net. I began watching the once coveted and interesting Battle of Alberta albeit with the volume low because Peter Loubardias's voice gives me a headache, I also hate it when the Flames' crew use players first names only during game action.

The first stream I am using is not great, so I try using a different stream. Once the second stream, of lower visual quality begins to work I immediately notice that the score is 1-0 for the Flames. Goal 1, missed.

It is announced the Oilers will be on the powerplay and guess what? My computer says it must close down my browser to properly install a lovely Windows update. I figure sure why not? This update will surely just make my computer a more powerful learning machine. Besides, watching an Oilers powerplay usually just makes me notice that no defenceman on the team can carry the puck at all through the neutral zone. Goal 2, missed.

With a minute to go and the Flames going on the PP again I am sure another goal is coming so I go to the washroom. Goal 3, missed. Of the whole first period that I saw, I don't think I saw the Oilers have one scoring chance, its reminiscent of the last Battle of Alberta where Telus got me so drunk I don't remember much of the game.

The intermission is a perfect time for me to take a closer look at the games that are on my ticket. Everything seems to be in order, except for that the Coyotes at this point will need to score 5 goals to make me a winner. Also, may as well play with the stream again, is wanting to watch a game illegally in great quality a crime? Don't answer that. When I get a working stream, poor quality, I am greeted by the screeching noise of Glencross scores! Goal 4, missed.

See where this is going?

Now the second frame started around 10:00, I need to get ready for work around 10:20 so I can make it in by 10:50 and ask the guy I am relieving if he minds staying a couple minutes longer so I can grab some Timmys.
If you can think of a better or healthier way to stay awake from 11-7 I'm all ears.
Once I get to work this happens:

Co-worker who drives a motorcycle (CDM): I completely forgot about the Leafs game, did you watch it?

Me: Yeah, Leafs won.

CDM: Score? How did they play? Was it good?

Me: It was a Leafs game man. They won 3-1 I think.

CDM: Uhhh how did they play?

Me: I dunno man they were playing Florida.

CDM: What does that mean?

Me: Florida is awful. The Leafs were the Leafs, Colby Armstrong left the game in the first, they were lucky Pete DeBoer didn't get the to score of Giguere you just need to make him move a little.

CDM: Who is that?

Me: DeBoer? He is the Panther's coach.

CDM: What are you watching now? Is that the Vancouver game?

Me: No. Oilers Flames. It's a s***** one though, I think the Flames are up 3-1.

CDM: Buddy, the Flames are in trouble this year.

Me: What? 4-3 when the f*** did that happen?

Goals 5, 6, 7, missed.

Just as I am getting comfortable and done being in amazement that the Oilers are in this game, a car pulls up. The only car of the night. I have to leave my post and go park said car in the deepest darkest regions of the lot. I return. Goal 8, missed.
At least it was a nice car
 Overtime was overtime. For some reason the Oilers chose not to select their statistically strongest shootout player as one of the three shooters. Oilers lose, but salvage a point they probably didn't deserve. Flames win but will likely have a wonderful puke filled no puck practice tomorrow. Happy Birthday Mikka Kiprusoff.

Hope you enjoyed this brief window into the life of an Oilers blogger. See, we don't all live in our parent's basements.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Texts from last night

Miikka its your birthday

Happy birthday Miikka Kiprusoff. For your 34th birthday may the Flames blow a three-goal lead to the worst team in the NHL in your honor.

For those who don't know, the Calgary Flames led the young and exciting (make sure you have safesearch on if you Google image that) Edmonton Oilers last night 4-1 at one point during the second period. Jordan Eberle pulled his trademark "score on Ian White" play to end the second, and then at some point in the third the Flames completely lost the lead, as the score became 4-4 headed into overtime. Alex Tanguay justified his entire contract by scoring the game-winner in the shootout, and the Flames escaped with the win and two points.

Here are the texts I got from last night as the game went on (blue denotes Oilers fans, red for Flames fans):

We are well on our way back to the glory days of the 80's

They are just kids out there trying to have some fun. The flames are their parents asking if they are doing the weed.

It's [the Oilers'] year

Omg taylor hall is so good! He can score goals from absolutely anywhere!!!

I'm not even interested tonight. The sens already fucked up my sports select ticket.

These oilers are so exciting to watch

Oh my god Loubardias, no one gives a shit that Whitney was a USA Olympian

I'm scouting at the game. Olli almost had one there

These upstart oilers are terrible.

(Before the game) You know I love staios. I think he's better than mickelson. still confused why we couldn't have used that money for better forwards but whateva

(From the same person, later in the game) Okay staios should not be playing.

I actually hate Cory sarich

I have missed every goal in this game.

I stopped watching after the second. WTF.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


If you've ever taken in a game at the Saddledome, this video should absolutely captivate you.
Beezly is one of the best parts about going to a home game.
Raw emotion. The guy loves hockey, and the Flames, and it shows night after night.

PA announcers can't be taken for granted. Enjoy what you've got.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Glory days

Barely ten years old.
I didn't even know what was about to hit me.

My birthday, being in October, was right around the time of the best videogame releases.
I was well aware of this fact.

I had the entire operation planned to a tee.
My Uncle would get me the new Gameboy Pocket. It came with Wario's Blast, a game that pitted two long-time rivals, Wario and Bomberman, against each other. Thinking about that now, it would be like watching Carolina @ Dallas and trying to derive a game plot.

Armed with a brand, spankin' new GBP, I would finally be able to get my hands on a game I had heard so much about: Pokemon Blue. That game would, of course, come courtesy of my Grandfather.

Perhaps Tegan and Sara put it best: Blow by blow, I didn't see it comin'. Blow by blow, sucker punch.

I had, literally, no idea what I was about to get into.

The game turns on, and the first thing you get to watch is an unreal battle sequence. That, combined with one of the greatest background themes of all time, simply set the stage for what was to come.

You try to leave town. The grass looks a little tall. It might be hard to see what kind of creatures are hiding out in there. Suddenly, an old man invites you into his "labratory". Being a little boy, you obviously ignore all common judgement and follow him unconditionally.

His first question is, on the surface, such a simple one: "Now, RICH, which Pokemon do you want?".
Little do you know how much of an impact this creature is going to have on your future.
Not having a clue what I was doing, I clearly picked the coolest looking one.
Looking back on my life, I've always had a way of making things hard on myself. I never did my math homework properly in Junior High, which led to weak fundamentals, which led to me to an Arts degree. And I picked the Pokemon which I thought looked cool, which means that through my first two gyms I was going to have a hell of a time. I still remember trying to beat Misty's Starmie in the Cerulean City gym, losing time after time, blacking out and waking up in the Pokemon hospital. That story is strangely close to another person's. 

Of course, your rival always seems to have a step ahead of you, even when it comes to his ragtime-inspired theme music. But he never really posed a threat to you, he was more of an annoyance, always trying to take advantage of you when you least expected it. Challenging you to a fight not more than three seconds after picking your first Pokemon. Showing up on Nugget Bridge. But no time more critically important than after defeating the Elite Four. Broken, beaten, and scarred,  you struggle to beat Lance the dragon master, only to be informed that there is already a champion waiting for you in the next room.

I remember beating the Elite Four for the first time. I remember the day I caught my 150th Pokemon, a Tauros, in the Safari Zone. I remember struggling, possibly longer than I have in any other video game to date, to figure out how to get into Saffron City (the guard's only hint was that he was parched--> like I knew what the fuck that meant). 

I remember my own personal flirtation with performance enhancing drugs, of course I'm speaking of the MissingNo. glitch off the coast of Cinnabar Island. Much like Ben Johnson lost the trust of his home country, I too lost the trust of my game cartridge, as file after file became corrupted. It was then that I learned cheaters never win.

I nicknamed some of my Pokemon. I don't really remember any of them, except for one: I had a Metapod whose name was "My Penis". Confused? This was worth its weight in gold back in the day:

I used my Master Ball on Zapdos. I never regretted the decision, even when I was whittling down Mewtwo in that cave of wonders or whatever it was called, throwing Ultra Ball after Ultra Ball.

Although I'm not holding my breath for comments, here is what I want to know: What are your vivid memories from your first go at Pokemon? What still stands out in 2010? Did you "catch 'em all"? Were you loyal to your starters? I want to know it all.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

What R U Watching 2nite?

By Dan Moser

First of all, we at Oiler Spill would like to wish former Edmonton Oilers goaltender Mikhail Shtalenkov a belated happy birthday. Mikhail turned 45 on October 20. Let us never forget his contributions to the team. Once an Oiler always an Oiler.
Is that a Preds mask?
What a beauty!
It feels like it's been forever since there was an Oilers game on television. Yeah, I'll probably peek in every now and then to the game but to be honest, the prospect of watching an entire 60 minutes of Minnesota Wild hockey is not something I look forward to. In short, that is not what the title of this post is referring to.
What's that stick? You want to score tonight? Let's discuss it after the game
The Flames are playing someone tonight, I think (okay, that's really irresponsible of me, I checked, it took me like 5 seconds, the Flames are playing the  Red Wings. Sorry). That should be an entertaining game, and even if it's not, I have Mark Giordano and Pavel Datsyuk in my pool (no PIMS don't count). Besides, who doesn't love watching a train wreck. Will I be watching this game though?

I must have lost my mind because I actually want to watch the Leafs and Rangers game. I'm looking forward to watching a Leafs game. I feel dirty now. Most people in the Toronto media are classifying this game as some kind of battle of the heavyweights, which to be honest I think is a waste of time. Yeah Colton Orr and Derek Boogaard are gigantic men who like to punch people, but to promote a hockey game based on two meat heads alone is crazy.

There is no guarantee the two will even drop the mits. If they do, there is an even smaller chance it is a fight worth watching, in all likelihood the fight will be over in under 10 seconds and who knows a hockey game might even break out. Don't take this the wrong way, I like fighting, I just think it is silly to promote a 60 minute hockey game using something that if it occurs will be under a minute long.

That was an unforced tangent, and that's not the reason I want to watch the Leafs tonight. There are three names in the game tonight who have a common thread: Mike Komisarek, Dion Phaneuf, and Sean Avery. THAT'S RIGHT LADIES (yeah right) AND GENTLEMEN IT'S THE CUTHBERT BOWL!

This game promises to have all the excitement of House of Wax, The Quiet, and Popular Mechanics for kids all in one! Clearly it's my love for TMZ style news an not my love of hockey that drives me to want to watch this game. It will likely be a shit game.

In case you didn't know, all three have at some point dated the worlds most popular puck bunny, Elisha Cuthbert. Further adding to her resume, everyone's favorite B-lister once played Kiefer Sutherland's daughter on the show 24. Sutherland, as we have been told by the Ultimate Gretzky DVD set, is a close friend of Wayne Gretzky's.

Hopefully some words are exchanged, obviously off camera no one wants to end up in rehab, and if they are then we should be able to see the hate on the ice. Other than that both teams are playing their backup goalies and I'm waiting for the leafs to play a lousy game already and come back down to Earth.

Remember kids, seconds are sloppy, but thirds are sloppier

Like I said earlier, I feel unclean now and need to go take multiple showers. What's worse, is I can't take too long cleaning myself otherwise I might miss the opening faceoff of the Cuthbert Bowl. Shudder.

Okay, I have to stop now. Rachel Hunter is in the other room getting jealous. Yeah that's right, she has moved on from hockey players to hockey bloggers. Can't wait till next month when she is dating Lowtide or Putting on the Foil or Loud Mouth Hemsky and I get to hold a press conference asking why it seems like the players in the Oilogosphere seem to be obsessed with falling in love with my sloppy seconds. Oh and Go Oilers by the way.

Rick Dees

Obviously everyone knows about Rick Rypien's lunacy the other night in Minnesota. Basically a fan chirped him after he got kicked out of the game, and in his professional opinion the best way to asses the situation was to reach up into the stands and make contact with the fan. When I first watched the video, I actually thought the fan was a woman and he was grabbing her chest. I think we're all relieved that wasn't the case.

There is no way that guy could have said anything insulting enough to warrant Rypien reaching up into the stands with malicious intent. It reminds me of another over-reaction, in my opinion one of the greatest of all time:

Seriously, the guys in the back of that show were just heckling Michael Richards. They did absolutely nothing to deserve the way he reacted. My guess is its probably the same with the Minnesota fan.

Craig Conroy shared his opinion with the Herald's Vicki Hall:
You just can't touch a fan,” Conroy said. “It looked like he was clapping, and he probably said something. But you just can't touch anyone. They pay their money. I don't know what the fan could have said, but you just can't do that.

He spoke further about the lack of a tarp covering the player's entrance from the dressing room to the bench:
I think the league is going to have to look at that,” Conroy said. “If there's a fight, they need to put that in there so you come off the ice under the cover. That's what those things are there for. I know they have them in Minnesota. So I don't know what happened. 

Goalie Coach Jamie McLennan once had an altercation with a friend of mine during a home game against the Anaheim Ducks a couple years ago. The score was something like 3-1 Calgary after two periods. Going onto the ice to start the third, my buddy walked over to where the players exit the dressing room before they go onto the bench and then the ice. Kiprusoff walked out, with both his arms over his head, making an "X" over himself. My friend reached down to touch Kipper and say something like "keep it close Kipper! Great game!". Keep in mind, this is a kid in Grade 10 or 11. He's not some shitfaced guy in his late 20's or 30's actually looking to cause harm. McLennan immediately throws his stick up against the wall, hits the kid's hands out of the way, and says, "take your fucking hands off him!".

Possibly a better segment than the reaction to the Eberle goal

But, as shown above, Jamie has always had the boys' backs. So maybe its a different story. Ryan Lambert AKA "The Two Line Pass" had my favorite comment on the situation:
The Flames play tonight in Detroit and will try to make up for their last game by not scoring any goals.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


If you like the Flames, or the art of goaltending, this picture should be the background on your computer, phone, iPad, etc. Not stretched either, tiled.

I didn't realize that there is actually a free preview of Sportsnet ONE until the end of the month, which means that putting back-to-back games on the new "companion channel" to Sportsnet isn't such a tragedy after all. That being said, I turned on the game midway through the second period, and to everyone's surprise (read: sarcasm) the game was 0-0. Major shocker.

Between the way I'm cycling ephedrine/caffeine and watching the Flames try to score goals, I am going to experience some sort of heart failure before the end of the year. Some other things I noticed from the game last night:

- The second unit PowerPlay now includes Olli Jokinen and Steve Staios. Between those two and whatever other "scoring depth" the Flames have, their offensive zone presence sort of looks like this:

- Brendan Morrison and Olli Jokinen are playing together on the second line. They are both centers, and watching them play, I couldn't tell which of them was supposed to be the center. Quite frankly I don't think they know either.

- Cory Sarich was on a warpath last night. I generally have nothing good to say about him, but much like the arm of a drunken husband he was hitting everything that moved out there.

A question of preference: would you have rather won that game 1-0, or lost it 7-5? There are cases to be made for both sides. Considering the Flames were pretty much shut out for the third time in five games, I'm ready to call last night's contest a failure. Obviously the two points are what matter most, but is it really indicative that the Flames have turned the page and are ready to be as competitive as they're supposed to be?

At least with a 7-5 loss, there is some positive re-enforcement that there is goal-scoring potential on this team, and obviously Kipper isn't going to let in seven every night. As for now, the Flames have won two in a row, and go to Detroit to face heavyweight champion Pavel Datsuyk and the Red Wings on Thursday night. Is it too cynical to go in expecting to not score again?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I Heart The AHL

By Dan Moser

That was the intro video for the Oklahoma City Barons, the Edmonton Oilers American Hockey League Affiliate. Now, I'll be the first to admit, this is the one and only intro video for an AHL team I have seen. It strikes me as being very AHL and very American non-hockey marketish.

First of all, and probably most noticeable to the layman, there are no actually players or even players names present in the video. Who are the stars of the team? Who is the fighter? Based on this video I can't tell you. I know it's a new team, but there are clips out there and they are not hard to find. They are good clips to. The kind that show you some of these players might be worth watching.

The "hockey" scenes are pretty lame. The "players" are not travelling at full speed, they barely even have their legs bent. In the first shooting scene, the puck doesn't even leave the ice, looks like the player may have whiffed on the shot and the production crew had to do with it because it was still somehow the most usable shot. These scenes would be so perfect if this was a promotional video for the third line in the men's league I used to play in in Edmonton.

By far though the best hockey scene is the final shot. The un-named, un-numbered, I assume forward, playing in what appears to be a dimly lit inter-squad game winds up and takes a slapshot. Though the shot is barely off the ice it has the power to destroy everything in it's path before showing the viewer the Fox-Trax Puck Version 2.0. Not only does the puck begin to glow, (you now so that we know it is fast) it actually turns into a glowing fiery lion racing towards the goal. The puck goes into the empty net and destroys it. 

Lastly, look, I'm probably not the hippest person out there but making an intro video the the Eminem song lose yourself (you know, knees weak, etc) is a little dated and kinda lame. It almost made me puke up Mom's Spaghetti. I guess it's kinda fitting though, for most of the players on the Barons this season this is their one chance to make it and if they don't play well this season it will likely be the end of the road as far as the National League is concerned. As of writing this, the Oklahoma City Barons scoring ability this season is making last year's Springfield Falcons teams look like Calder Cup champions.

Monday, October 18, 2010

...and TJ Brodie is a sloppy drunk

"Yeah he's a rap I don't like him"- Brent Sutter
Draw your own conclusions from that.

Props to the Flames media personnel. Between this and the Hagman/Meyers video, these videos have been pretty entertaining. Beats the hell out of watching some generic interview. 

Current ongoing conversation between myself and Mr. Joel Panas:

Joel: you must be hearing nothing but noise about the oilers hey?
Me: dude
theyre so young and exciting
they play with such youthful enthusiasm

just like when everyone was talking about the kid line when gagner cogliano and maybe nilsson played a few good shifts together

hahahaha im loling
theyre such old news eh hahaha

yeah you get 2 seasons to break out in this town then youre done. they'll ron schremp ya

We went a whole five minutes without him mentioning hockey in the 1980's. Looks like Oiler fans really are starting to turn the page.

Friday, October 15, 2010

1-81 w/3GF

Last year, the Calgary Flames lost every PPV game they played. This year, PPV was removed in favor of Sportsnet ONE. My analysis of the utility of Sportsnet ONE can be found here. I would love, love to see the Flames not win a game on this new channel (there's 19 of em).

Boy howdy, was that one hell of a stinker for Steve Staios. On the ice for all three goals against in under 12.5 minutes of ice time. That is called making the most of what you're given. But it's impossible to put the blame on him alone, because he's not the guy who is supposed to go and score some goals. The three stooges up front are certainly taking their time to hit the scoresheet. They did garner seven out of the 27 total shots on net the Flames had, but you don't get marks for effort. People want to see results.

How early is too early to fully replace Sutter? Will it take three shutouts against in four games? The problem with letting Darryl go now is that it wouldn't even signal a turn for the future, it would act more as a punishment for actions taken in the past. At least Calgary still has a first-round pick, that is until they ship it out of town for some veteran talent like Doug Weight or something.

It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm going to the game in Calgary. My tix aren't as good as TheRealDanMoser's, but quite frankly if the Flames aren't going to score I don't really care where I'm sitting. Anywhere that is close in proximity to the beer sales I suppose.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

NHL Homecoming

It's been five years since the NHL graduated from the lockout, let's open up the yearbook from that graduation year and see how much some of these franchises have changed. What a half-decade its been for some teams!

Prom King and Queen 2003-2004: 

Tampa Bay (106pts) and Detroit (109pts).

Dateless at the graduation ceremony:

Chicago (59pts) and Pittsburgh (58pts).

Obviously, things have been pretty good for Detroit. The all-star quarterback of his graduating class, Detroit has just completed his undergrad at Princeton and is now going to medical school. After five years of working hard to be at the top of the class, Detroit looks like he's going places. Not much has changed since being elected Prom King.

Things, of course, haven't been so easy for Tampa Bay. After being chosen as Prom Queen, she let all the attention go straight to her head. She didn't finish her applications for University in time and was forced to go to Grant MacEwan AKA Clown College. Since then, she got into some serious bad habits. It started with the occasional toke of a marijuana cigarette, but quickly escalated into full-on drug abuse. Crack cocaine, heroin, there wasn't anything Tampa Bay wouldn't put in her body for a quick fix. Her breaking point came when she got involved with a man whose name was synonymous with trouble in high school:
Barry Melrose.

That was not to last, though, as even a rough-and-tumble girl like Tampa Bay couldn't keep up with Barry's late night antics and wild hair-do's. After breaking up with him, she enrolled repeatedly in rehab, unsuccessfully. Rumor has it now that she has recently signed up one more time, and now she's put her faith in a higher power.

Pittsburgh barely managed to graduate high school and wasn't well liked by her classmates. She often wouldn't bother to show up to class, and when she was bored enough to come, she was usually daydreaming, often about what she wished her life could be like. Raised in a broken home in rural Pennsylvania, money was always hard to come by. Then in 2005, her dreams came true: she won the lottery.

Now, thanks to her lottery winnings, she has bought everything that she always dreamed of, including friends, dinner accessories, and a new home.

Everyone remembers Washington at graduation. Running around naked, singing songs about teachers, generally getting into mischief. Washington made a fool of himself at grad, there's no doubt about that, but it was all in humor's sake. He was quite the class clown back in the day. But, as he got older, he realized what was most important in life. Family. Friends. Having a reputation you can stand behind. Sure, it was fun to be a prankster when he was younger, but with age came higher expectations of himself. Unfortunately, reaching legal age upon graduation also had a downfall for him, as he developed a drinking problem.

In Grade 12, Calgary was the girl you didn't really notice at the start of the year. She was quiet, and sort of did her own thing. Sure, she was always wearing new clothes, but nobody really thought much of her. She was always a pretty hard worker throughout most of her classes, and she was kind of cute, in a nerdy way. Then, she went for plastic surgery at a specialty clinic in San Jose, and came back with a nosejob.
Armed with her new nose, the boys couldn't get enough of her by the time the end of the year rolled around, and every team in the school was hoping for a date with Calgary. There's no doubt about it: Calgary was a feel-good story at the end of senior year. But what's happened to her since graduating?

She's definitely aged with time, that's for sure, and she is not wearing it well. Most of her graduating class won't even recognize her when she walks through the doors to see her friends from five years ago. Father Time has left many a wrinkle on her once young face, and she's put on about 35lbs of weight. It hasn't been smooth-sailing for her since graduation, though, as she was diagnosed with cancer of the lymph nodes; however she has been on the recovery path since.

If you'd like to see what's happened to any other teams, just leave a comment, and maybe I'll be able to dig up the yearbook one more time.

Yeah, I'm Going to Calgary

By Dan Moser

Be jealous. Last Thursday I went to the Edmonton Oilers season opener versus the Calgary Flames. There were something like 16,000 people there, you might even be one, so I understand you might not be jealous yet. I was sitting up in the press catwalk of luxurious Rexall Place. If you have the means to do so, I really suggest it. It is the best way to watch the game. You get a perfect bird's eye view of the game and you're surrounded by media "celebrities."
From Russia with glove. God I wish I came up with that

But I digress, I'm going to Calgary. I have no pull with the Flames, really it's there loss. I'll be up in the 300s (though to be perfectly honest I think there is a chance I will have MUCH nicer seats. I'll take Glen Beck's advice and pray on it and I'll update this if I get them). The nice thing about going to a game in Calgary though is I really have a good time no matter where I'm sitting.

It's not that every seat in the Pengrowth  Canadian Airlines Olympic Scotiabank Saddledome is a great seat, not by a long shot. The fact of the matter is I'm an Oilers fan and there is something about cheering for the road team in hostile territory that I love. Oh I know what it is, it's that I get to be a jerk if my team wins, and this year my team has a decent chance. I don't even have to say anything, just being in the building during a win makes me a jerk.
This cele would look much better in blue and orange
Now you're saying: "Okay Dan, what happens if the Oilers lose? Then what do you do you cocky piece of crap?" The answer is easy, despite what you may have read, I'm a hockey snob. I guarantee I can out hockey talk anyone in the Saddledome any night, and that includes those in the press box and certain members of the Flames management.

Have I riled you up yet Flames fans? Are you even still cheering for the Flames?

Anyway, I'm expecting a great game, just like the one I enjoyed on Thursday. Neither team is looking THAT strong right now, but one guy who is looking great is Oiler goaltender Nik Khabibulin. According to weird fringe stats, he is one of the best goalies in the league right now. In addition to goaltending this is one year where the Oilers actually look to be offensively more dangerous than the Flames. Needless to say, I'm excited for Saturday night.
This vet clearly watches too much Jersey Shore. Deadly fist pump though

Have I offended you? If so take this blog posting as a challenge. When you see the Oilers fan wearing the nicest jersey in the Saddledome, (1978 Wayne Gretzky Oilers jersey, dark, orange logo, no captain C) approach him and get ready to talk some hockey, and if you're impressed buy him a beer (freelance writing is not as profitable as you would think.).

Cheers and I hope you all enjoy the game as much as I'm sure I will!
Oh yeah, and follow me on Twitter, it could get fun. Check out Oiler Spill too if you have some spare time, but if you're reading this on Oiler Spill, check out PST Free Hockey, an equally awesome site.

EDIT: I got my wish, never doubt the pwer of prayer. I'm sitting in a box for the battle of Alberta in Calgary wearing an Oilers jersey. Yeah. 

Monday, October 11, 2010

Home(o) Opener

I'm pretty much ok with everything in the video at the start. Don't really understand why the brand new, state of the art Jumbotron was passed up in favor of sheets that didn't even touch one another, but whatever. I like how they got the seasons-ticket holders into the video, nice touch, very classy. Problem is, watching Olli Jokinen talk about how he's proud to play for Calgary doesn't exactly get me fired up. Then, about 4:20 in, the Flames pick the song that they feel is going to set the tone for their season.

They will not force us
And they will stop degrading us
And they will not control us

Is this song supposed to be how the Flames are going to start the season, or about how they are tired of being raped? It's probably my personal bias speaking because I happen to not be able to stand Muse (its all that whiny, synthetic guitar), but I feel like there are a couple of songs that could probably pump up a crowd better than some anti-raping song.

Look no further than the two highest rated comments for justification:

If you're a traditionalist, maybe you like yourself some Metallica. This song would also fit the cheesy lyrics criteria that the Flames seem to have, but fuck, at least when James Hetfield is screaming this at me I believe he means it:

You rise, you fall, you're down, then you rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong 

And apparently it would fit the other piece of Flames criterion...
They scratched me
They scraped me
They cut and raped me 

But obviously, picking that Muse song was the organization's way of saying that they were not happy with the way the season ended up last year. And sometimes I forget not everyone is as hard as me when it comes to shitty pump-up music.

Oh, Flames won last night, too.

Friday, October 8, 2010


Now that's what I call a great way to start the season!

In all seriousness, what could anyone have expected to come from this? After going 7-0 through the pre-season it was realistically about time the Flames lost a game, it was only a matter of time, any sports gambler will tell you that. Its not losing a game that upsets me...Its the matter in which its lost that really causes some concern for me.

Kiprusoff did absolutely everything in his power to keep the first game of the regular season in reach, but once again the team in front of him managed to kick him into the sewers. Say what you will about what was a questionable goal against Ales Hemsky, but as soon as Eberle banged White's sister on that toe-drag move, this game was over.

It shows that Tangs and OJ have been practicing together, because he hit the post. 

TJ Brodie has got to be the first player since Lemieux to wear 66.

Ratis Ivanans was clearly the hardest working Flame last night. In the middle of his fight, he fell asleep! He was still super sleepy when his teammates and the refs had to help him off the ice. He should start taking naps before games so that doesn't happen again LOL!

Mercifully, the Flames don't take the ice again until Sunday night. If their next game had been closer, I would have considered a hunger strike until they scored a goal.