Thursday, October 14, 2010

NHL Homecoming

It's been five years since the NHL graduated from the lockout, let's open up the yearbook from that graduation year and see how much some of these franchises have changed. What a half-decade its been for some teams!

Prom King and Queen 2003-2004: 

Tampa Bay (106pts) and Detroit (109pts).

Dateless at the graduation ceremony:

Chicago (59pts) and Pittsburgh (58pts).

Obviously, things have been pretty good for Detroit. The all-star quarterback of his graduating class, Detroit has just completed his undergrad at Princeton and is now going to medical school. After five years of working hard to be at the top of the class, Detroit looks like he's going places. Not much has changed since being elected Prom King.

Things, of course, haven't been so easy for Tampa Bay. After being chosen as Prom Queen, she let all the attention go straight to her head. She didn't finish her applications for University in time and was forced to go to Grant MacEwan AKA Clown College. Since then, she got into some serious bad habits. It started with the occasional toke of a marijuana cigarette, but quickly escalated into full-on drug abuse. Crack cocaine, heroin, there wasn't anything Tampa Bay wouldn't put in her body for a quick fix. Her breaking point came when she got involved with a man whose name was synonymous with trouble in high school:
Barry Melrose.

That was not to last, though, as even a rough-and-tumble girl like Tampa Bay couldn't keep up with Barry's late night antics and wild hair-do's. After breaking up with him, she enrolled repeatedly in rehab, unsuccessfully. Rumor has it now that she has recently signed up one more time, and now she's put her faith in a higher power.

Pittsburgh barely managed to graduate high school and wasn't well liked by her classmates. She often wouldn't bother to show up to class, and when she was bored enough to come, she was usually daydreaming, often about what she wished her life could be like. Raised in a broken home in rural Pennsylvania, money was always hard to come by. Then in 2005, her dreams came true: she won the lottery.

Now, thanks to her lottery winnings, she has bought everything that she always dreamed of, including friends, dinner accessories, and a new home.

Everyone remembers Washington at graduation. Running around naked, singing songs about teachers, generally getting into mischief. Washington made a fool of himself at grad, there's no doubt about that, but it was all in humor's sake. He was quite the class clown back in the day. But, as he got older, he realized what was most important in life. Family. Friends. Having a reputation you can stand behind. Sure, it was fun to be a prankster when he was younger, but with age came higher expectations of himself. Unfortunately, reaching legal age upon graduation also had a downfall for him, as he developed a drinking problem.

In Grade 12, Calgary was the girl you didn't really notice at the start of the year. She was quiet, and sort of did her own thing. Sure, she was always wearing new clothes, but nobody really thought much of her. She was always a pretty hard worker throughout most of her classes, and she was kind of cute, in a nerdy way. Then, she went for plastic surgery at a specialty clinic in San Jose, and came back with a nosejob.
Armed with her new nose, the boys couldn't get enough of her by the time the end of the year rolled around, and every team in the school was hoping for a date with Calgary. There's no doubt about it: Calgary was a feel-good story at the end of senior year. But what's happened to her since graduating?

She's definitely aged with time, that's for sure, and she is not wearing it well. Most of her graduating class won't even recognize her when she walks through the doors to see her friends from five years ago. Father Time has left many a wrinkle on her once young face, and she's put on about 35lbs of weight. It hasn't been smooth-sailing for her since graduation, though, as she was diagnosed with cancer of the lymph nodes; however she has been on the recovery path since.

If you'd like to see what's happened to any other teams, just leave a comment, and maybe I'll be able to dig up the yearbook one more time.

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